Welcome to the Real World: Take Me Home
by aprrayn
Summary: Full Summary inside, but here's a preview for you: Harry wishes things were different because Sirius's death has left him in an empty, wandering shell. And after a freak port-key accident set up by the deatheaters...things start to get a little weird. PG


Certain characters and scenes belong to J.K. Rowling…not me…and certain other characters and settings belong to me.

Summary: One day, Harry wakes up to a world of magic. But after a freak-portkey accident he wakes up to find his parents in the kitchen, a little sister, Professor Snape as his homeroom teacher, Professor McGonagall as his principal, Voldemort as the creepy neighbor down the block and Professor Dumbledore as the friendly mailman…who can talk to birds? And there's no magic anymore, no wands, potions, none. But it seems Harry's the only one who knows. But wait. Who are these Daniel Radcliffe and J.K. Rowling characters? Somebody help! Harry's got to go back to his own world before this one drives him crazy…but does he really want to?

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Take Me Home

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Chapter 1: Muggle Paper

It was a bright day outside and the blue skies called to the students to enjoy the sun. Almost everyone was outside, lying under the trees, throwing a quaffle around or enjoying the view. The lake sparkled majestically where the giant squid stretched its tentacles and back into the cool waters.

It was pretty warm for September, but after their first week back, it was nice to be in vacation-mode again. A skinny, black-haired kid kicked his feet in the lake water, sitting on the edge of the newly built walkway suspended over the side of the lake. He had a lighting bolt scar hidden poorly under his unruly hair and his green eyes hidden behind round specs were cast downward at the water.

Harry Potter stared at the darkness that swirled below him, trying to see the bottom. His two best friends, Ron and Hermione, sat under a tree nearby. That were keeping a worried eye on their friend, Harry had not been the same since the events of last year.

But the very precious tranquility of Harry's time was shortly interrupted.

"Oi, look! Its Potty!" a snide Draco Malfoy said, pointing at him like he was some freak show attraction. Followed by Crabbe and Goyle, they made their way towards him. "Hey, Potty, forgotten all about my promise to you, huh? Well, its time to fulfill it now!" Malfoy whipped out his wand and pointed it straight at him. Harry just stared back him blankly, almost uncaring.

Malfoy's face turned red. "Potter, I'm here to duel you! Take out your wand!"

Harry, still sitting on the edge of the boardwalk stood with his feet dripping wet, picked up his shoes next to him and started to walk away. Ron stood to defend his best mate (even if Harry wasn't planning on defending himself) but Hermione grabbed him and gave him a serious look. "Harry, can handle it." she whispered to the freckled red-head.

"But, Hermione—"

"No, let Harry walk away."

Malfoy ran after him, his wand still pointing at Harry's back. Suddenly, Malfoy let out a sunning spell towards him. It missed Harry by only inches and at this point Ron couldn't take it anymore. He ran up to Malfoy and yelled "_Petrificus Totalus!"_ Instantly, Malfoy was frozen on the ground. "Look, Harry, a frozen snow queen!" he laughed. He looked around and saw Harry's figure continuing to make his way to the castle.

Once inside, Harry quickly made his way to the Gryffindor Common Room, avoiding other students and teachers (especially Snape and the Headmaster). He plopped himself wearily into the nearest armchair and planned on dozing off before Hermione and Ron ran into the room, loudly in fact, and began to pester him if he was ill or sick.

"No!" he finally said. He looked at them both and said more gently "I'm fine, just tired, that's all." He pushed his chair back, because they didn't look like they were gonna be moving away anytime soon, and made his way to the sixth year boys' dormitories. But he kept the door cracked a bit and watched as Hermione finally broke into silent tears…on Ron's shoulder. Harry knew they were meant to be together but he didn't mean to make them sad, hurt them at all or cause them this grief. But he couldn't take them much more, they had to understand he just needed to be alone for a while.

He watched as they both walked out of the common room and he finally followed as suit. As he peeked out from behind the Fat Lady's portrait, he spotted them going down a hall and went the opposite way.

"Mr. Potter," a silky, calm, but almost irritated voice said from behind. Harry had almost made it back outside until…he dreaded to even think of the man. Snape, looking as batty and menacing as ever, was behind him. Harry tried to keep from looking into his eyes.

"Yes, sir?" he practically squeaked, fumbling to keep his voice calm.

"Professor McGonagall wishes to speak with you in her office." he said flatly and stalked off. Harry released the breath he had been holding the entire time as he saw the last of the Potions Master's robes billow around a corner.

As if on queue, Professor McGonagall met Harry around the next corner. "Ah, Mr. Potter, I'm sure, Professor Snape has given you my message. Let's walk together to the Headmaster's office." Harry suddenly got the pleasant thought if he had replied to her "No, Professor, Professor Snape never gave me a message. He went around that corner there! Here's an axe for you!"

--wait. The headmaster's office?

As they walked the way to the headmaster's office, which Harry still recognized, Professor McGonagall noticed Harry's uneasiness. "You're not in trouble, Mr. Potter. The headmaster is out but he left something for you."

They approached the gargoyle guarding the headmaster's office and upon seeing them it immediately swung the entrance open. The transfiguration professor gave a nod to it and led Harry to Dumbledore's desk. The portraits on the walls hung with snoozing former-headmasters or jabbering ones. But their eyes all rested on Harry once they recognized who had just arrived.

Harry /really/ wanted to leave now…

"Here you are, Mr. Potter. If it contains anything about the Order, I suggest you open it here. I'll just leave you to see to it then…" And with that she turned to leave and let the boy open this strange piece of paper.

Well, it was strange. Like the mentioned above, it really was just a piece of paper, not even wizard parchment, lined paper. Muggle paper? And how the hell was he supposed to /open/ the blasted thing?! He turned it over again and suddenly noticed the silence that filled the room. Where had all the occupants in the portraits gone to? This must be important enough to have the headmaster to instruct them all to leave when he was to so said "open" it.

"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?" he flung out his wand and tapped it. "Reveal yourself!" he commanded it. He felt so silly, Snape looked so at ease when he was /talking/ with the Marauder's map in his third year.

It tapped it again with more force and something seemed to happen. An invisible force, Harry guessed as the wind, blew it away and under the desk. "Hey!" he chased after it and held it against the light. Something was written on it now. Invisible ink…?

Shame, Potter, do be more careful! Do not loose me.

Harry stared at the contents in disbelief. And just as he threw the piece of paper back on the ground, everything exploded all at once. He could just barely remember the short moment as a large explosion, swarming deatheaters and aurors from the Order swarmed into the office all at the same time. He fell back and at the same time was caught by an Order member, lifted to his feet was pushed away from a deatheater's stunning curse. Everything was all a whirl, a deatheater or Order member was frantically throwing him everywhere. What was going on?

He just barely, for a quick second heard Lupin's voice. "Harry! Don't—"

Something was thrust into his hands and he was able to see the horrified expression on Lupin's face. "NO!" Madeye cried only a few feet away. Tonks was running toward him but was too far. And suddenly, he saw Snape standing in front of him and reaching out to take whatever it was in his hands, almost frightened in terror. What was it?

"POTTER!" Snape cried and his hand went through him. WHAT? He saw the pencil…yes, pencil in his hands and the little scrap of paper…

And exactly then he felt the force of his whole body and particularly his naval being thrust forward, the Order members watching in horror and an evil laugh echoing in his mind. Voldemort…and there was the muggle paper clenched tightly in his fist (next to the odd pencil) with a cheerful little scrawl on it.

We're going on a nice little ride, Potter.

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I hope this wasn't a very messy first chapter. Leave reviews please! I'm sorry if my grammar is terrible or if you find any English problems.

Warnings: a OC girl in the future…no she will not fall it love with Harry, that's just so Mary-Sue, she will only last for a couple of chapters LATER.

Characters /might/, I said might, be out of character. That's a maybe but I don't usually like to do that to them…

Other characters not from the books introduced.

Might introduce angst, not sure, not really sure how…

NEXT CHAPTER: Harry finds himself in a very strange new world…one you might be familiar with. If he gets attacked my rabid fans, include yourself in it. But you belong to yourself and not to me or J.K. Rowling! Okay?


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